![]() ![]() Incorporating irrelevant surrogate and composite end pointsĬoncoct an invalid inflation of event rates (especially among control patients) Give insufficient (“mini”) doses of your competitor's product, accompanied by scary (“max”) warnings about its (but not yours) side effects and toxicity “Mini-max” manipulation of your competitor's product Provide updatable wall posters for displaying the group to which the next patient will be allocated, see-through allocation envelope systems, etc Unconcealed allocation to ensure better prognoses in “experimental” patients Invoke fallacious “placebo effects” and “assay-sensitivity” arguments in order to avoid head to head comparisons Substituting placebos for established effective treatment Strategies for applying this bias (while hiding your intentions and actions)Ĭite just those reports that support your product, proposal, or policy (and slag all your competitors) References for all of them can be obtained by subpoena from our legal department. Limited space permits the individual description of only a few of our services. The tables summarise our services: table 1 shows the ways we can cook the data in an individual randomised controlled trial table 2 displays an array of aftercare services for keeping the truth from interfering with sales and implementation and table 3 lists the services that we offer to our non-elite (that is, shallow pockets) customers. Through a series of blind, wholly owned subsidiaries, we can guarantee positive results for the manufacturers of dodgy drugs and devices who are seeking to increase their market shares, for health professional guilds who want to increase the demand for their unnecessary diagnostic and therapeutic services, and for local and national health departments who are seeking to implement irrational and self serving health policies. HARLOT plc will provide a comprehensive package of services to discriminating trial sponsors who don't want to risk the acceptance and application of their products and policies amid the uncertainties of dispassionate science. We're combining the world's oldest and second oldest professions, cashing in on our reputations, and distributing this confidential prospectus for our new company, HARLOT plc. Accordingly, we have decided that it's time for us to find out whether being bad pays better. It has finally dawned on us that being good and being poor are causally related: being good doesn't pay. ![]() ADO wears worn out blue jeans and hasn't had a new pair of shoes for 10 years. DLS drives a clapped out pick-up truck, and his rowing boat leaks. In sum, we have established impeccable reputations for protecting the validity of randomised trials and systematic reviews, and for exposing lapses in methods, validity, therapeutic claims, and professional conduct. ADO has exposed problems with experts and has promulgated rigorous reviews of research to inform decisions about health care. DLS has prohibited sponsors' stockholders, much less employees, from seats on his data safety and monitoring boards and has enforced the banning of pharmaceutical reps from the medical wards at McMaster University. More than 35,000 people have died and over 2 million have been displaced by the extremist violence in Nigeria, according to the UN Development Programme.Ĭhinedu Asadu in Abuja, Nigeria, contributed to this report.We've been good. Most of its members now operate as a more brutal faction backed by the Islamic State group. Since the mass abduction in 2014, Boko Haram has grown in reach and influence. The girls and their parents have said most them had babies after either being forced into marriage or losing hope of ever regaining their freedom. Most of the girls who returned home in recent months had escaped from the Sambisa Forest, a known hideout for the extremists. Hassan Chibok, a local leader, said: “It has made the memories fresh for the parents that their children are still missing.” Maiduguri said: “Hauwa was about eight months and two weeks pregnant during her rescue, delivered a bouncing baby boy on 28 April while undergoing thorough medical examination along with her baby, Fatima.” His comments echoed concerns of parents and activists about the maltreatment of the girls by Boko Haram, whose name in the local Hausa language means “western education is forbidden”.īoth girls were married three times as one husband after another was killed during clashes with the military. Maltha and Marcus were forcibly married to extremists while in captivity, Ali told journalists in Maiduguri, the Borno state capital, on Thursday. ![]()
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